If you don’t have a good broccoli connec in the chinese food game, you’re as fucked as an albino with no sunscreen in the prime of summer. Good broccoli connec’s are tough to come across these days and some chinese restaurants just aren’t making the cut. In my years of dedicated chinese food critiquing I have realized that the consistency of chicken and beef is far more consistent than that of the broccoli. Yims wok is blessed by getting their broccoli from one of the purest broccoli plantations in all of China. They get their broccoli from the Yen-Yen forest located just east of the Ming dynasty’s village. The broccoli on this plantation is grown and cured by some of china’s most brilliant minds. In china the most honorable job is being a shogun warrior and in close second is being a broccoli farmer.

Broccoli farmers most undergo years of rigorous training in order to learn the tools of the trade. I recently was at the household of a friend Marc Brown and he had recently ordered beef with broccoli. Naturally I was eager to bite into a piece of his broccoli in order to get an idea of the source. As I bit into this beautiful green vegetable, I was overcome with anger and disgust. This broccoli tasted like it came from the urban city of Guangzhau. A city known for its harsh terrain and lack of broccoli farmers.

To make a relatively long story short, this broccoli tasted like a combination of cauliflower and fungus. Basically if a chinese restaurant isn’t getting their broccoli from a good source, then they are doomed. Their food will be contaminated by Guangzhau funguses and the lack of focus from their farmers.

Chinese Food is all about broccoli, everyone knows that.