The NFL really is starting!!!! This is the happiest I’ve been since I discovered how to jerk off. Lemme tell you bout this one guy who I know who is guna kill it this year. I’m not guna disclose his name but I’ll tell you it rhymes with Crandon Snarshall. I got him in all my fantasy leagues and thats because he is going to do more damage than Jason Aizenman at all you can eat chinese. Leme tell you bout Jaiz at all you can eat chinese. The kid camps out like a mutha fuckin nomad and chills there for an hour of non stop Dumpling killin, chicken slayin, beef murderin and chinese bitch hollerin. I’ve seen the kid once stick an eggroll in a chinese woman’s tush and then punch her in the domeington. He was heated because the ph levels on the sesame chicken were highly acidic and causing his stomach to engage in nonbeneficial activities. Lets be honest though, Its sunday and I’m doin what any other american should do, watch football, say funny shit, root for my fantasy team, and be mean to minorities. Yesterday I kicked some Indian dude in the shin because of the odor that was being emitted from his armpits. The dude apologized to me and said it will never happen again. Thats how i FUCKIN ROLL, This is america not fuckin new dehli. YAAA DIGGG. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND NO PLACE ELSE, AND MAY GOD WATCH DOWN ON MY FANTASY TEAM AND MAKE SURE THEY ALL GET SUFFICIENT TOUCHES AND GET MAD PUSSIES POST GAME.

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