A wise man named Johan Elkinson reminded me how gay toe shoes are, so i just decided to start writing about it. Well here it is young elkington. 

If you are wearing toe shoes, then you are no friend of mine. Toe shoes are probably the gayest fashion item to come out since the fanny pack. Shmendge’s around the world are salivating about their ability to hike in these toe shoes, while veterans across America look on with disgust. A young gun I know named Evan Ottenweiler had a pair of these. I couldn’t believe my eyes when i looked at his feet right before we engaged in lighting the bitter herb. I said Evan “Do you want to be known your whole life as the kid with toe shoes, or do you want to get laid and be a good man. He pondered this question for a while and removed his toe shoes and his reattachable vag. Since then the kid has been doing more slaying then Buffy. 

This post is aimed at those still wearing these estrogen laced foot compartments. How could you all be such bad men?? I dont get it, Nikes are straight nice sauce and so are any other type of sneaker. To be honest I would rather see people wearing those sketcher shoes with the wheels on them. 

BOTTOM LINE: stop being a fuckin tool. You’re not funny, you’re not cute, your just a fuckin sideshow shmendrick lookin to give an 8 dollar beej. To be quite frank like Anne, just dont wear these. 

Toe Shoes- “preventing men from getting substantial pussy since 2009”


channing tatum- once a pussy machine, now pussy repellent. Just look at his shoes..