Websters Definition:

Shmendrick- Noun, A stupid and ineffectual nobody.

11:1 Ratio of shmendge’s to good men in North America.

26:1 Ratio of shmendge’s to great men in North America.

As you can see, there are far more shmendge’s in the world than there are good or great men. As Shmendge’s around the world fornicate and reproduce more shmendges, the breed of good and great men are becoming extinct. I have already educated you all on the criteria for being a great man, so now I will teach about “shmendge criteria”.

NUMBER 1- Heres a huge rule- If you look like a prick, you better have some pretty good shtick. You all know what I mean by prick, so now to explain shtick. Shtick is an adjective that describes ones ability to carry him or herself. Shtick has to do with the ability to have others around you feel your presence in a positive manner. This a tough criteria to pass because there are so many people out there that are annoying to be around, and just don’t bring anything positive to the table.  Let me give you an example of a man with great shtick. His name is Aaryn Pure, the dude’s shtick ratings are at 97. The reason being is because he has the ability to connect with so many different people. Aaryn can comfortably communicate with a nerd as well as a billionaire ceo. He is well-respected because of his great shtick. Now let me get into someone with bad shtick. I’m not going to name names but this kid has awful shtick. His latest Shtick rating came back at a measly 53. Whenever he is around he is always talking about something that nobody cares about , he never brings anything of value to the table, and he looks like a darn peasant. Once again I wont say his name but he is a SHMENDGE.

NUMBER 2- If you smell like cheese, you better be providin the febreeze. This isn’t just applying to body odor, it applies to all facets of life. For example, there are bad men out there who constantly bombard into activities and don’t bring anything to the table. Basically they smell like cheese and don’t clean up their stench with a deodorizer. For example, I will talk about a shmendge who doesn’t clean his stench. This kid is constantly engaging in lighting of bitter herb but he doesn’t throw down enough to compensate for his “foul stench”. He is a shmendge so should throw down double the amount of tree as others in order to repel his stinky shmendge smell. There is soo many stinky cheese shmendges who don’t know how to cover their odor.

NUMBER 3- If you don’t get any pink, that just makes others think, that you have less game than a chinck. Lets be honest, I am not a racist in any way shape or form but after doing thorough research I have concluded that Asians get less pussy than any other race. Shmendge’s get zero pink because they don’t assert themselves or make a distinct attempt to slay. There are some good men out there who don’t get much pink but they make up for it in other ways. Basically if you’re not getting any pink you should just go on a mission and try to get with anything in sight. You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. Shmendge’s are so often trigger shy and don’t shoot at all. Shmendge’s across america, just go for it!!!!

NUMBER 4- Kill the game, and in turn, people will know your name. Shmendge’s biggest problem’s are that they get zero media attention for anything good that they do. The only time they are mentioned is when people are talking smackington’s about them or when they do something embarrassingly dumb. In order for Shmendge’s to get better media is to just be a better man. Killing the game is a term that I use to describe someone who can accomplish all different kinds of tasks in an efficient manner. An example of killing the game can be seen by looking at Dirk Novitsky’s younger cousin Max. He is a gentleman and a scholar as well as an athlete. This triple combination has all different kinds of people recognizing him for different accomplishments. There is no questioning the kids ability to kill the game.

 

These rules are not being put out there to make people feel poorly about themselves, they merely exist in order for shmendges to be able to accurately identify their faults. I don’t want the breed of good men to become extinct like the terodactyl, I want good men to flourish and the world to be a better place. I have started a project recently called the GOOD MEN PROJECT. It is similar to a concentration camp but it is meant for shmendge’s. They will undergo rigorous testing in order to better themselves so good men don’t become a dieing breed. Please spread the word.

 

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