This past weekend in the city, Jared “KING TUHT” Goldberg happened to drop one of the best lines to ever hit the western hemisphere. Tuht, Matt “Baby Dedro” List, and I were all sitting in a cab on our way to the lower yeast side. The cab driver had a turban that looked like it was stuffed with an assortment of dirty cheese’s and he had a stench eroding from him that was worse than Baghdad in early July. To make matters worse the dude was driving at a slow speed and taking us the slow way. We were all upset with the service but at the same time what are you guna say?

As soon as this thought erupted into my head, king tuht pops out with a, what do you know about diminishing tips? I could not believe my ears, king tuht just invented a one liner that sums up poor service. He didn’t get overly aggressive and tell the driver that he’s a dick and that he’s not doing a good job. He merely stated that, the service being rendered will not equate to a good tip, so step your game up and stop slacking because now is the time to reestablish homeostasis and get your tip up to a respectable level.   I could hardly believe the level of innovation that king tuht was bringing to the table and I’m sure he didn’t realize either.

The next day I was sitting at a local italian restaurant called Raul’s Ravioli. My water had been empty for a whole 7 minutes and I was beginning to get disgruntled. An amateur would be mean about the situation and say something like, “Where is my god darn water” while giving a dirty look. I took things the sophisticated way and said, “what do you know about diminishing tips“? The waitress looked at me and said, “wow, you’re right, I don’t want my tip to diminish” and she gave me a nice smile and filled my water to the top of the cup.

The service industry is tough. No matter where you go, you will eventually bump into lackluster service. The only way to go about poor service is to drop the magic line.