Cold Cuts AKA Deli Meat are my Matt Forte. When I was at Indiana University I double-majored in public and environmental affairs and Deli Meats. To say I know a lot about cold cuts is an understatement. I delve into any deli meat known to man, I recently even tried tongue. To my discovery, it was a delicious piece of meat in which I savored every bite. I also love turkey just as much as the next guy, but recently I have discovered many inconsistencies with the normally consistent meat.

I recently ordered a turkey, pastrami, roast beef sandwich with cole slaw on it. The sandwich should’ve been everything I dreamed it would be, but it was ruined by dryness of the turkey. I don’t know what makes turkey dry and tasteless but whomever or whatever it is, I am not boys with them and only have the harshest things to say. Dry turkey makes me take the turkey off my sandwich and downgrade to one less meat. I get very disgruntled because my sandwich would have even been better with peasant meats, such as bologne and salami.

I think dry turkey should refer to more than just a bad piece of turkey. I actually dropped it at work the other day and it just went very seamlessly. The mailman came walking through the front door, and he said “man, the weathers not lookin to good today”. I replied quickly with a, “yeah its lookin a lot like dry turkey.” The mailman smiled and didn’t even think twice about my remark. It just made perfectly good sense to him. I think I’m on to something… correct me if i’m wrong???

"Gettin The turkey Wet"

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