J Ains here, back at it. I havent seen you fools since I clowned Shia Labeouf and advised you all to search the good ol internet for Ren Stevens titties.  Boy I sure hope you did.

Anyway I want to discuss a recent phenomenon: family car stickers. At what fucking point in a mans life is he going to be so ridiculously soft that he will allow his wife and/or kids convince him to put those stupid fucking stickers on the car. 

Take this car for example. This dude obviously works hard as shit day in and day out.  He grinds, stresses and makes enough money to provide his family with Range Rover’s a nice crib and all the Go-Gurt’s his kids can eat.  Then this motherfucker ruins everything when he thinks it would be fucking cute to put stick figures on his $80,000 gangster ass car.  I would rather drive a 1990 Geo prism, with no air conditioning, broken windows, and a 2 month old cheesy gordita crunch sittin in the back seat in the middle of the Chicago summer then drive a fucking Range with this bullshit all on the back of it.  Just think about that.

Regardless of my beliefs on the subject these fucking things are everywhere.  I want to tell these parents something, and if they are reading please listen to what I am about to tell you:

If you really want everyone that you drive by to know the dynamics of your family that fuckng badly, stick figures aren’t the way to go. Maybe sit outside a fucking movie theater passing out holiday cards with a nice family photo.  Or you could go to dry cleaners and beauty salon product stores and leave piles of them on the counter for people to take for free.  It doesn’t matter.  If you are a man, you should not stand for it.  Just because you are a father doesn’t mean you are a pussy. Do the right thing. I’m out.

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