Dont fux wit us Thursday, Dec 29 2011 

u already know

Fuckin Flash Mobs Saturday, Dec 10 2011 

What is there to be said about Flash Mobs that can’t be said about Ellen Degeneres?  They are both gay, annoying, and generally anger me.  My dear friend T Streets asked me what I thought of this new cultural phenomenon they are calling a “flash mob”…and as i ripped this shit apart like it was a check that i fucked up while writing out I realized that most people most likely hate these weird, unnecessary things.   This video will sum it all up:

Telling you that this is lame and these people should consider moving to their own island somewhere between Canada and the US and just grub on fish and get butt ass naked and do organized dances in the middle of the fucking wilderness all the time is unecessary.  I am very curious what everyone else thinks about this bullshit

Lastly, The Tim Tebow II Article is coming soon…..any suggestions for that shit hit up Z Cohen of Temple University.

Unsung Wendy’s Hero Friday, Dec 9 2011 

I been on my Wendy’s scheme lately. I made a genius play the other night when I put my spicy chicken go wrap, into my plain double stack, and threw BBQ sauce on it. My boy Mike Christie practically nominated me for the Nobel Peace prize but decided against it last second. Tonight was a different night however. It could have turned disastrous if not for the Unsung Wendy’s Hero named Juanita.

I pulled through the drive-thru after Juanita eloquently took my order of Spicy chicken sando and a bottle of wooter. I gave her my ten bucks, and just proceeded to drive away. It was top five biggest amateur moves of all time. I completely forgot that I was there to get my Travis Diener, when Juanita jumped through the glass drive through window and ran towards my moving whip. She smacked my window and I opened it and she gave me my delicious wendys treats. Bottom line, the drivethru woman doesn’t get enough respect. She’s taking orders, collecting peoples moneys, and doing heroic things on the reg. I’m thankful that Juanita works at my Wendy’s.

Juanita

He Ain’t No Sandusky Thursday, Dec 8 2011 

I’ll tell you one thing… Sandusky fucking ruined this pic-a-da-week.  Before Sandusky became more popular Calvin Klein, this dude would have made it out of this day alive….but once again Sandusky fucked shit up for JoePA looking motherfuckers everywhere.

What had happened was this old dudes house was about to get seized from the dude in Happy Gilmore who seizes Grandma’s house.  He wasn’t having any of that bullshit because him and his shorty stayed gettin busy in that crib and makin mad good meals.

 

He said fuck it and went to study abroad in Australia like my boys Kras and Zubrowsky.  He brought his house so he wouldn’t have to throw the appraiser through his front window like the dude in Happy Gilmore.  While he was hiking and  minding his own damn business this little, fat, nerdy, half-retarded fuck wouldn’t leave him alone about borrowing five dollars for some popcorn or queso dip or some shit.

As they made it back in town some dude thought this old man was Sandusky and shot him in the grillpiece.

THE END

Celebrities Siblings Anonymous Thursday, Dec 1 2011 

My dear friend Miller McCormick happens to have a pretty famous brother.  However Miller is somewhat of a celebrity himself.  He had pecs and shaved since he was twelve years old, hes a beast at graphic design, could have gone pro in baseball (in my opinion) and has a mediocre sized jimmy…

Since Miller’s brother is so famous he is part of an elite group of siblings that all share a common aspect of their lives….their siblings are famous as fuck while they are as normal as a Red Lobster in the burbs.  The other day Miller told me he is going to start a group called–“Celebrities Siblings Anonymous”.  This group will include people like Johnny Drama, Donny Wahlberg, and whoever the fuck is related to the kid from Two and a Half Men who recently hit puberty.  

CSA (celebrities siblings anonymous) meetings will take place in synagogues, community rec centers, churches and Einstein Bagels across the country.  Miller will obviously be the leader of the meetings.  No groupies allowed….no paparrazi allowed….only Busch Light beer and string cheese is allowed (preferably Cheese Head Brand).  No matter how much yinz might want to go to these meetings and get fucked up on Busch Light and Mozzarella  you aint fuckin welcome unless your brother is famous. 

But they need to be very famous.  Like this dude doesn’t even count as famous enough:

 

 

 

 

If this dickhead from Entourage and Oceans 11 is your brother, then stay the fuck home.  The security is very heavy and they will be watching the door very carefully.  My cousin Adam will be watching the door and you do not want to fuck with this dude:

He used to be security for this roided homo from Jersey Shore, but now he works full time making sure the CSA meetings give their members what they deserve…..

Anyone who feels the need to attend these meetings and have a brother who is famous as fuck, as usual contact Alex Pattis of the University of Arizona. Peace.