Geez mothafucking louise…it sure has been a long time ladies and gentlemen.  Perly and J Ains went into retirement for about a year.  We both moved to a gated senior citizen community down in Boca, copped 2 Buick’s and been getting crispy in the hot tub next to old wrinkly ass bitches named Ethel.  After a year of slammin 80 year old shorties  and takin the money from old 80 year old homies named Herb playing cards and bettin on Perly in golf, we back with a vengeance.  And what better time to come back than the day of Bama vs. Notre Dame national championship game…

This brings me to my next subject….





If you are a young Jewish sports fan, and have no real ties to either squads in tonights game then you cheering for Notre Dame would make as much sense as you using to get your next nut.  Before i go any further I know I look like Rudy, so lets all have a good little laugh about that.






Now that we got that out of the way…fuck Rudy and fuck Notre Dame.  Young Jewish males are given a lot from birth…we are given mad connections, mad kippot, some channukah gelt but we are not given any sort of right to cheer for the most goyem team since Ralph Lauren’s Polo squad.  Have you ever walked into Nordtrom’s during christmas time??? Shit is dripping with Notre Dame swag…

Growing up in Pittsburgh Pitt bball games are a big deal for a young Jewish male. There is no NBA squad so the Panthers are it for us.  Seeing Notre Dame come in every year with their butter scotch fans and one white shooting guard with a buzz cut who is wet from three takes a toll on all of us.  If Notre Dame were a club, tribe members aint a part of it.  Yesterday I wanted Chick-Fil-A more than anything but it was closed on Sunday….you know why?  Because all of the employees were at home making banners for the fighting irish and tucking in their shirts and shit.

So ladies and Gentlemen, i’m rollin tide this evening with the homie Scott Greene and B Phil’s whole fam.  I do understand there are special circumstances why a young mensch may have to cheer for Notre Dame and by all means do what you gotta do.


But just know and ALWAYS remember, Perly Ains Ain’t Playin Games.