Fuck these girls who have no ass at all. Who the fuck do they think they are?? So many girls out there think its all about having big ol boobies and a tiny little tushy. These bitches just don’t get it….Allow me to elaborate….

There are a few type of girls I am singling out in particular and lets discuss the first example: “The Cardio/Anorexic Big Titty Chick”
Man oh man is this bitch selfish. These chicks are obviously born very pretty, but natural beauty isn’t enough for them. They won’t allow themselves to have the big booty that hashem intended them to have. They starve themselves and hit the cardio like a motherfucker just to take away the very thing guys want the most- A nice round tush. These women can be spotted with a People Magazine, bumpin Beiber and Brittany, and wearing the lululemon badge and bringing disgrace to the brand. Aint no ripple, ain’t no ass. These women are selfish and get fake titties to make up for their lack of voluptuousness. They rely on their cleavage to get them whatever they need, and yes when they are face to face with someone, big ol hogans are very effective. HOWEVER…when they walk away and the male happens to glimpse at the cheeks and it looks like a 10 year old Perly walking by, then sheeeeeeeeit, that bitch is a waste of talent.

small tush

Girls with tiny asses will always comment on a girl with a big ass. They will say things like “she shouldn’t be wearing those pants” or something stupid as shit like “ew gross shes fat”. Bitch, she aint fat, she is skinny and is wearing those yoga pants like a champ. A good test of whether a girl has enough ass is to bring any random 3 black chicks, one jewish dude (probably me) and an anorexic white chick. Then these sample judges can come up with the answer whether or not a girl has enough ass. If she doesn’t we send her on to the island they used to put people with leperacy. BUT if she does, we give her a $50 gift card to lululemon and a free doritos taco from t bell.

This chick would be sent to the island full of leperacy peeps”:
small tush 2

Like wtf is this? gymnastics for kindergartners??? this shit aint natural and whoever is telling these women to do some much cardio and puke up their quinoa salads is misinforming them and doing the world a great injustice.

This has been another Public Service Announcement courtesy of PerlyAins.